The Cult of Paris

Paris Hilton celebrates 666

2006-06-07T19:47:00.000-04:00

Back from a break, the Cult of Paris has some sinister news to report! But first, as you are probably well aware, Paris has a new album coming out. The video for her single entitled "Stars are Blind" has already leaked and I'm sure we'll be seeing it plenty on MTV soon. After all, she got some nice production and sounds damn good if I do say so myself.
Now to the real stuff. Paris reportedly threw a 666 party last night. To prepare for this event, Paris allegedly made some serious inquiries into procuring a Dreamachine, the curious contraption invented by Beat generation members Brion Gysin and Ian Sommerville in 1959, designed to induce a trance-like state and lucid dreaming.

Props to Paris for making the effort to find one of these machines to throw what sounds like a killer 666 bash on the evilest of days. Of course, it's pretty easy to make one of these at home, but buying a vintage Dreamachine is defintely what's up. This pic of Paris on June 1st shows her mere blocks away from a store in Hollywood called Necromance, where one may come by such devilish necessities as freeze dried bats, rattlesnake rattles, and three-ball flails. Sounds like an ill party.

Paris Hilton may be in the Skull and Bones

2006-05-03T16:34:00.000-04:00

This photo is kind of old and shows Paris Hilton at some sort of junket in Las Vegas. I've drawn attention to the pattern on the shirt (tie? scarf?) she is wearing underneath her jacket. Skulls with the number 322. Just another celebrity fashion trend or something else?

I read a book a couple years ago by Alexandra Robbins called Secrets of the Tomb. Its kind of an exposé on the YALE secret society known as Skull and Bones. The 322 originates from one of the Skull and Bones society's aliases, Lodge 322. Other known names of the society: The Order of Death, The Eulogian Club, and Cooperation Star. Initiates are known by a variety of names as well, including Bonesmen or GBdBs (Great Bones (of the) Boodle) (HAHA!). President George W. Bush is a member.

In 1992, the Skulls began allowing females into the fold. So, is Paris a Boneswoman? Is she of the Boodle? Was she forced to masturbate in front of her fellow initiates in the basement of the Tomb? Did she dine on an old set of Hitler's silverware? According to Wikipedia, Paris never went to college. She did, however, drop out of the Dwight School in Central Park and get her GED. I don't think they let you in for that :(

Paris Hilton wears a Gothic Ring

2006-05-01T20:28:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton had to fly to Ischgl, Austria to promote a new packaging for Prosecco sparkling wine...cans. If my sparkling beverage was making the transition from bottles to cans, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd want Paris Hilton flown in by chopper, Tyrolean Alps be damned. She took the mic for a bit and did her part, but nobody seemed to remark on the fact that she is wearing what appears to be a gothic style of finger armor ring. This type of jewelery is often worn by the type of people who like to be ready to tear the flesh from your body in the event that, say, vampires are discovered in Barrow, Alaska.

Listen, I don't know what the F* Paris is doing wearing one of these rings. Maybe she got hyped on the release of Dungeons & Dragons Online, maybe she found it in the chopper, I mean really, who knows. It's interesting but its kind of a dead end. I do have a friend who is kind of into this stuff and apparently this style of ring comes in quite a variety of models. Here is a list of some of their names:

Alien Skull
Dragon Claw
Witch Knuckle
Phoenix
Thresh Fledder
Hemlock Poison
Finger of Doom
A Bit of Finger
Dreamfinger

Paris Hilton loves AC/DC

2006-04-29T13:02:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton was recently photographed exiting a luxurious condominium before entering the night to party. Her crew looks on point in this photo, as you can easily tell that they are huge fans of classic rock bands Van Halen and AC/DC. Paris is even wearing a vintage Blow Up Your Video world tour shirt (1988...great year) while her female friend is rocking a Van Halen Tour of the World 1984. Here is the back of that one.

So does Paris always roll with a Sharpie?
If you look at the wall above the landing behind them, you can clearly make out that someone has "tagged" the phrase "BIG BALL$!" followed by a scribble.

I suppose any urchin off the street could be responsible for this graffiti, but I'd like to think that Paris Hilton herself was feeling it that night and just had to rip a boring white wall with some AC/DC flavor. Hell's Bells!

Paris Hilton has a Crystal Ball

2006-04-28T20:28:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton has been known to wear a bit of fur. What do you expect her to do, buck an epochal status symbol to kowtow to some angry hippies? BTW, the chill hippies think its kinda F’ed up to wear fur as well, but they ain’t out to spread hate or throw flour at anyone. I’d rather see that flour used toward some banana bread or something.

PETA used it to pelt Paris with some ghetto-ass flour bombs on her way to Mayfair from Julien Macdonald’s runway show on the first night of London Fashion Week.

Something caught my eye about this photo, though. Is Paris holding a large marble? Or a crystal ball? That thing looks heavy and I’m just glad she didn’t decide to retaliate. Someone could have been hurt. Do you like violence?

John Dee. 1527-1609. Advisor to Queen Elizabeth I. Into math, science, astrology, and alchemy. Alchemy. This dude F’ed heavily with crystal balls in his attempts to learn the secrets of nature, being a follower of Hermetic philosophy (cult practices, physical transcendence).

We speculate that the sphere has been passed down through the Hilton family since the days of Conrad Hilton, founder of the Hilton Hotel Empire. My friend was especially alarmed by this photo, claiming that he was skeptical of Paris’ ability to control the powers with which she is meddling. He even went on to suggest that Paris may not be holding the crystal ball as the photo would have us believe, but that instead the crystal is holding her. Any guesses?

Paris Hilton in Tight Squeeze?

2006-04-28T00:10:00.000-04:00

Paris is great. Here she is pictured getting out of her Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. We all get into tight spots now and then, plz don't hate just cause she has the freshest doors on the market. Beside, she just slips by like a cat. Isn't it interesting that she has a chaos star sticker on her bumper? Let us examine a common tenet among Chaos Magicians:

"Nothing is True and Everything is Permitted."

This deceptively hokey ethos can be applied to Paris' situation. What is happening here? Paris' butt is rubbing up against some other dude's, what, corvette? He should be so lucky. The media may use this photo as an opportunity to tease Paris about an awkward moment, but her faux pas is certainly permitted. Everything is.